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Full text of "In Ruhleben Camp"


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MISS MOLLY M'GINTY SENDS US THE 
FOLLOWING UNSOLICITED TESTIMONIHL: 

<Mu4/e<fen 9T 

Qwupy oiouant *ne a- nao&et ol 
y&vi, teat&u. 6/icencua ana ecccectent 
/&&ee t& tne afaae aoo-i, iua£ ntgnt 
am/ (2/ ffeei Qs tnutit tea&fy wltte fo 
/eCt uo-u naia aoo-a 0/ £nin& it ic o/o- 
zonoteöome ana attXe. Ost i,e*nina& *ne 
ojf ***■?/■ ca&t taut in (Onautna wnele 
GS a&uau& a£e uoui o/o&ee ae ~£u<v& 
Q/ö-n t it t'a&t ö/itenaia veinp aute £c 
gct it a£ /ne Q/lttn/euen (äfcoteö nelef 




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ENGLI8H TOFFEE: 2 packets 15 Pfg. at Ruhleben Stores. 



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TO THE MERCHANTS IN THE CAMP WHO USE 
ADVERTISING PUBLICITY IN A LARGE WAY: 

When Ruhleben is over remember 




(By Royal appointment) 

CARLISLE, BIRMINGHAM, 
LONDON, PARIS etc. 

The WorlcTs biggest Tin Printers. 
Advertising & Publicity of every sort 



• • _• »^ • 



• • • • • • _• 



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• „• • • • • • • 




Jn 

Ruhleben Camp 

m 4. August 1915. 



iT'S AUGUST MONDAY! We can't lie in bed 
for that extra half-hour because there's a 
bath party at eight o'clock. We can put on 
our Sunday togs but why should we? We 
can 7 t take our morning walk past the six- 
mile limit because we can't get further than three-quarters 
of a mile and besides there is no pub at that end of the 
Camp. We can't walk down the High Street throwing the 
glad eye because there is nothing to throw the glad eye 
at, and there isn't a single shop in Ruhleben at which one 
can buy a lady-teaser. We can't take 'Arriet to 'Appy 
'Amstead because there is no 'Arriet and no 'Amstead, and 
we can't take the Missus ancl the kids to the seaside 
because' there isn't any missus and there are no kids, and 
tho' we've plenty of sand, the sea is a very long way 
off. And there is no Cyeling Race Meeting because Dick 
Halpin's is the only bicycle in the Camp, and there is no 
Race Meeting because tho' we've got the Race Course 
we've no horses to put on it. We can dance in the 
evening, but who wants to waltz with a great lout of a 
man — and all the pubs are closed. It's worse than 
living in Glasgow for a year of Sundays. But are we 
down-hearted ? Of course not! 



WE hear that at the next Promenade Concert, Messrs. F. Ch. 
Adler and J. Peebles-Conn will sing the duett: — u You made 
me love you" (I didn't want to do it.) 



YOU need not hesitate about buying hot-water tickets. We 
understand Mr. Powell has ot'her "business" cards. 



WE are not aware, however, that the next issue of tickets 
will bear the Camp Captain's address, age, birthplace, as well 
as his qualifications (if any.). 



I 



AR TS & SCIENCE 
UNION 

NEW SERIES OF LECTURES 

THE DEVELOPMENT OF ENGLAND 

AS A GREAT POWER. — • Mr. Masterman 

Fridays 9—10 

DYNAMICS OF A PART1CLE. - Mr. Bröse 

Sundays 8 — 9 

TECHNICAL ELECTRO-CHEMISTRY. Mr. Hatfidd 

Thursdays 10 — 11 

Mr. Bainton's first series of Lectures on Music 
have terminated. He will return to the subject in 
September, taking the individual Composers. Mr. Leigh 
Henry is commencing a series of Lectures on Con- 
temporary Composers, commencing August 15th 5 con- 
tinuing every Sunday at 10 a. m. The musicians dealt 
with will include Arnold Schönberg, Fred. Delius, Alex. 
Scriabine, Igor Stravinski, Modern French, Hungarian, 
Italian and Russian; the Italian Futurist Movement. 

Unless unforeseen events take place, it will now 
be possible to fit out a portion of the Loft of Barrack VI 
for Science Work, in which the A. & S. U. will have 
a share. 

For Monday Evening a number of educative and 
artistic productions are in preparation. 

An Italian circle, conducted by Mr. Cutayar will 
meet in Thursdays at 3 p. m. 

The Wednesday and Saturday morning and after- 
noon populär lectures will continue as usual. 

H. S. HATFIELD 

Hon. 3ec. Bar. 3, Box 10. 



\ 



PARCELS. 



<7Jt/ our Special Reporter. 

J'TTIT'HAT do YOU want? Can't you read the notics cn 
VV the door?" 

Thus the greeting, hurled at me in agressive tones, by a 
still more agressive individual, as I — in obedience to a command 
from the Chief to "write-up a column or two on the bally 
Parcels Office we must fill up the rag somehow" stood upon 
the threshold of that Holy of Hohes, the Ruhleben Parcels 
Office. A hurried glance at the notice in question "Kein Eintritt" 
assured me that, as a representative of the Press, I had nothing 
to fear on that score, but a second glance at the individual 
referreü to again demolished my feeling of security. He looked 
really TOO agressive ! However, putting the best face upon 
the matter — and myself — I handed in my "Legitimations- 
papiere" which, combined with my "interviewer's smile" proved 
too strong to be resisted. > 

"Here, Shirty, here's a man from the Camp rag wants 
to know what we've done with that parcel without a name, or 
something of that sort. Take him along to Mary Ellen, or to 
Father Droege or somebody. Anyrate, get him out of here, 
for the Lord's sake ! We've got about 2000 "Stück" here and 
another truck advised. 226 London, John M. Boyd. (that's 
the sixth to-day!) 35 London, Albany, Featherstonhaugh (What 
the deuce do people 
want to haVe names 
like that for?) Oh, good- 
bye, Sir, Shirty will see 
to you.' 

With this unintel- 
hgible valediction nng- 
mg in my ears, I pre- 
pared to follow Mr. 
"Shirty , a gentleman 
of expansive smile and 
ditto waist, when I was 
conscious of a square 
and substantial - looking 
parcel exceeding the 
speed-hmif in the direc- 
tion of my head. With an 
egahty begot of long prac- 
tice in the Editorial Sanc - 
tum. I ducked in time 
to see the parcel catch 




^)ttmmyFiaure -jor wdi-6thy tntJie l&rcejt/the . Moves up 
atU\err6e oj± mite a y«tr(tlow*rtJ ctestred) . ^au can /&)??/£ 
•iwtfie Queue sporne baek oweek fafet- to/ihd yoc//e on/y 
one eff -tfw Ticket 6/fice. 



the agressive gentleman in the foreadbasket, and, after interrupting 
the subsequent discussion by pointing out that to open fire on 
a non-combatant without previous warning was a breach of 
International Law, I followed my Brobdignagian guide to the 
"Back of Beyond". 

I knew of course, SOMETHING about Parcels. I had 
received advices of parcels which never turned up. I had waited 
hours — cold frosty hours. I have seen more fortunate :ndi- 
viduals returning from that queue wreathed in smiles and laden 
with parcels (their explanation that they were for their friends 
has always seemed to me deficient in originality) but never have 
I seen such Stacks of parcels as burst upon my vision on this 
occasion. On every side they towered, mountain high, and seemed 
to me to gaze frowningly upon this prying intruder upon their 
state. In the midst of this ocean, I beheld seated in a deck- 
chair, a mild-looking person, who, upon closer examinatioci, 
proved to be asleep. 

His absolute oblivion to the deafening racket round about 
was conclusive proof to me that the individual in question had 
the Sleeping Beauty, the Seven Sleepers, Barrack X, and all 
other holders of sleeping records — to quote the language of the 
Publicity Manager — "beat to a-frazzle" and, upon hearing 
that this was the gentleman I was to interview, I murmjred 
softly "some sleeper" and turned to depart, when my guide inti- 
mated that he thought he could wake him. 

"One moment" I cned "the poor fellow must be worn 
out with his exertions. Don't disturb him ! I can come back 
later on." 

My guide regarded me pityingly and with a murmured 
explanation of which I could only understand the word "Casino" 
he vanished round a larg stack 
of parcels, to reappear with 
a megaphone composed of the 
remains of two biscuit tins. 
Applying this to the ear of 
the sleeper he roared in sten- 
tonan tones "Aufstehen" ! 

The magic word did not 
fail of lts effect. The sleeper 
stirred uneasily, muüered in 
protesting tones "Habe heute 
morgen bis 1 Uhr gearbeitet 
and finally awoke. After ex- 
plainingthathehad averyheavy 

morning's work and comment- 'yestDearre JjotiAöiat -ehe Baitfe of fyA/den" 
mg upon the closeness of the 

(Continued on oage 6) 




Jneon/y Person wko ( W 

oelieues Oröndpa ' kj- 





atmosphere he consented to give me some details as to the nature 
of the Parcels Office labours. 

"First of all, Mr. D." I asked "can you give me some 
f igures ? They make a good impression, you know, at the 
commencement of an article." 

"Well", said my informant "the staff of the Parcels Office 
has grown from two to sixteen permanent members, in addition 
to which we often have to get in temporary assistance. Prior 
to January, we had no proper statistics, but since the beginning 
of the year we have delivered, according to our books, over 
102,5000 parcels. Calculating the average value of a parcel 
at 4/ — — which in my opinion is below rather than above 
the correct figure — we have handled, since the beginning of 
the year, goods to the value of over £ 20,500. In June last 
we delivered an average of about 1050 parcels daily, and our 
record delivery was sixteen hundred odd. 

"I presume you get parcels from other countries besides 
England" I asked, as soon as I had recovered from the shock 
of the above figures. 

"Oh yes. I am still old-fashioned enough to look upon 
Ireland and Scotland as England, but in addition we get large 
numbers from France, Switzerland, Hollaand, Portugal, Denmark, 
Norway, Sweden, Russia, Canada, U. S. A., S. Africa, India, 
Algeria, Cairo. ' 

"Kamschatka, Potter's Bar" I murmured irreverently, with 
memories of the "Private Secretary" strong in mind. 

"Oh yes. Well, the latter at any rate" was the smiling 
reply." 

"Let me see, you did not always have this room, did you ?" 
"Oh no, we began in very humble fashion, but the increase 
in numbers forced us to enlarge our premises, with the result 
that we can now deal with 1000 parcels in less time than with 
300 to 400 formerly. The expenses of the alterations were 
borne out of the surplus from the daily charges." 

"That reminds me, what becomes of the money taken here, 
Mr. D.?" 

"It goes to pay the fees charged by the Post Office 
for delivering the German Parcels, and to cover the incidental 
expenses of our working. Any surplus is handed over to the 
Camp authorities." 

"You do not, of course, pay any salanes ?" 

"Certainly not. All our workers give their Services free, 

OVERHEARD. "An arm-band is an affliction, but a button's 
a disease !" 



and the only acknowledgment is a pass to the Casino. (There 
they have no pay like everyone eise) I fear the fact that we 
are all volunteers here is occasionally lost sight of by some 
members of the Camp, for one would sometimes imagine that 
we were the paid servants of these gentlemen, when they come 
up to fetch their pareels. Wie feel rather keenly upon this point 
at times." 

"But Mr. D. — , I am stire that the Camp appreciates your 
work." "I beleive it does, and I am glad to say that the 
individuals mentioned form only a very small percentage of 
our — shall I say "customers". 

"And now, Mr. D. — , I should like to put a question 
which is agitating the whole of Camp. What becomes of the 
unclaimed pareels ? I have heard people assert that the staf f 
looks far too robust, having regard to the conditions under which 
it works, and though I would be the last to make any suggestions, 
still — ". 

"That, Sir, I regard as a most unfounded aspersion, and 
I am sorry to sete that the Camp is apparently inclined to measure; 
the Pareels Post Com with the Hot Water Bushel. So far 
from having any unclaimed pareels, we generally have about 
fifty claimants for every doubtful parcel. In fact, I think I may 
say that the only thing we have been unable to find an owner 
for is a baby — or rather the photograph of one — ■ which 
was found by one of our staff in a truck. Whether there is any 
ulterior motive in 
the reticence of the 
fond parent, I do 
not know, but, un- 
less you are able 
through the medium 
of your invaluable 
pubheation to throw 
any light upon the 
Babys parentage we 
are thinkingof adopt- 
ing it." 

"Well, Mr. D.— , 
I will see what we 
can do, and I have 
to thank you for you 
courtesy. 

"Don't mention 
it, please. Good- 
night!" 

X. Y. Z. 




% 



HERE 



is 6elon<j$ -to some one 
Jke plump lulle D<wL ot<*tl&*st his photojrAph 
/lös been füunc/ /r? our Gimp RiCQelÖfffce * 

Da dd y Piepse cLtm me f 



8 



nr£ 




We have had a busy fortnight and an interesting one. Most 
of the time we have spent in discussing vvhat kind of a medal 
we shall award ourselves. Let it be said to the credit of the 
Camp, that a very large proportion of it is asking : "A Medal 
— what have we done for a medal?" The fact remains that 
certain societies have already ordered these decorations and many 
are to be in the best eighteen carat. We cannot state the 
case better than by quoting our friend Barney. This is how 
he put it. "When I get home, (perhaps one day I shall be 
in a pub having a drink and in will walk Tommy Atkins 
minus one eye, one ear, or a Jeg or so and we shall drop 
into conversation. Tommy will show his modest bronze medal 
awarded him for having fought bravely for his country and I 
shall show a gold medal for having sat here in Ruhleben doing 
nothing. Who will look the mug ?" The whole discussion is, 
we feel, very inopportune and inappropriate. "See it through" 
and then talk of commemorative badges, medals or other tokens. 
When we return to England we shall perhape regain the sense 
of proportion we have lost in Ruhleben and realise that we 
are merely unfortunates — nothing more. Wearing Ruhleben me- 
dals will be tantamount to asking for pity or sympathy — 
admiration is out of the question ! We are heartily in sympathy 
with Thursday's meeting and regret that the fact that we go to 
press so early prevents our reporting it in this number. The 
crux of the Whole matter is that certain groups have spoken 
or attempted to speak in the name of the Camp as a whole. 
It these people insist on having their medals, they must do 
so as individuals and make it quite clear that they are NOT 
the Camp but a small minority in it. 



CONGRATULATIONS to the Entertainment Committee on their 
excellent Organisation of the- Art txhibition which gave the Camp 
untold pleasure for several days. There was a terrific amount 
of work involved which Mr. Hotopf carried out with the utmost 
praiseworthy tact and despatch. We are looking forward to the 
next Exhibition which we understand will be organised under 
the same auspices. And no entrance fee ! Really, we are im- 
proving. 



(Continued on page 10) 



Uhe Qe-nrtlernan o/ ' -ihe Tört-nuy/ct. f 




M? CROSSLANO 



BRIGGS ES<jt 



"1 



10 



WE hail the advent of a new 
elemieint in the Camp — the 
French group and congratuläte those 
concerned on the charming evening's 
entertainment provided. 

"Le Caprice" was the prettiest 
thing we have yet seen. Messrs'. 
Goodhind (Mme De Lery), J. Fros- 
sard (Mathilde), W. A. C. Meyer 
(M. Chavigny) and S. H. Gudgeon 
(Le domestique) arq a valüable Requi- 
sition to the Ruhleben (Le do- 
mestique) are a valüable acqui- 
sition to the Ruhleben stage ( and 
we are all looking forward to seeing 
them in the three French plays 
organised by the recentl'y formed 
Societe Dramatique Frangaise de 
Ruhleben. Dr. Lechmere has 
never given us such wonder- 
ful creations as those crino- 
lines, while "Bill" — 
known to the outside 
world as Mr. Meyer 
— looked simply 
splendid. 

Mr. MacMillan and 
his orchestra gave us 

* a really sympathetic 
rendering of a very 

* well chosen pro- 
gramme. The first 
evening we had Mr. 
Boqued as soloist and 
on the second Mn 
Pender gave us a little 
talk on Alfred de 
Musset and his work. 
The were both so 
enijoyable that we 
would have liked to 
have bad them' on 

both oöcasions. Gl'ad to see the A & S. U. are keeping the prices 
down. 




A LADY FROM THE FRENCH PLAY. 



IN connection with this question of entertainment prices, Mr. 
H. S. Hatfield has sent us an iexcellent Suggestion. He proposes 
that once a month a free ticket for a stalls seat be given to 
every member of the Camp. This ticket could be exchanged 
at the Box Office for a 'numbered stall by lining up in the usual 
way. The recipient could choose the show for which he would 
use his ticket and thus every man in the Camp would be 
certain of a comfortajble evening's fenjoyment. 

This almost inspiress us to a new rendering. "Out of the 
mouths of Supermen and Arts & Seiende Secretaries shall come 
forth wisdom." 



11 



WE have already thrown a ibouquet at the Entertainments 
Committee for having lowered their prices and they may rest 
assured that all the Camp thinks the better of them for so doing 
— all the Camp that counts, that is. Some people have eom- 
plained bitterly at the box office we are told, on the sdore that 
the lowering of prices will make tickets more difficult to get 
and make the box offiee queue longer than ever. These are 
the sort of snobs that the Camp has to sit on and we will 
always be very glad to help ! Of course we do not presume 
to suggest that this lowering of prices is in any way due to the 
expression of the opinion of the Camp in our last number — 
still it is a lhappy coinclidence. 




WE throw a bouquet (in a glass case, lik-e one puts on 
graves) at Mr. Wagenheim ^for the ^Devotion" (he expressed 
in such ( a (beautiful way ,at the last Promenade Concert! 

PLEASE note that during August and September Mr. Lucas' 
Indian Club Class will practice (weather permitting) from 10 to 
11 a. m. on the recreation ground, dail'y. (Sundays excepted). 
Instruction free — clubs provided. All are welcome. 




SOME OF THE EXCLUSIVES 
What 6o theykeep them jelhws in -that pen for QiH ?" 
"Cjdrn/ that äint no pen / thats d Club' ! 



12 



RUH LEBEN ACCORDING TO OTTO. 

(A Reader has extracted the following from his Ottc-Sauer Grammar.) 

TIME does not always fly. 
If you are ill you will receive some aspirin. 

The black crow of the soldier has eaten three chcrries. one 
boot-lace and a soup spoon. 

The fortunate man will receive many parcels. 

Half a race-course is better than no bread. 

The captain is excessively proud, but noboJy loiows the 
reason. 

I shall return (fut. indef . ) to my parents with much pleasure. 

The alley-way is unpleasant, but the loft is worss. 

The banker has returned from Hamburg ; he will not drink 
any more Champagne. 

If you attend the lecture you will sleep well. 
There are many bottles but no beer. 

On the trousers of Charles there are many patche?. 

The impudent prisoner said that he would like to see the 
Balance Sheet (balance des comptes f. I. He is certamly a 
presumptuous person. 

In the Camp there arose a few ducks but many ducks eggs. 

My brother Charles says that we shall soon go. — Your 
brother Charles is a liar. 

The badge of the London and Home Counties gentlemen will 
make an acceptable present to the men of Somerset and Cum- 
berland. 

He set out for Barrack 11 with the soldier and stayed 
there three davs. 



■book. 



Woodb 



ines an< 



My aunt has sent me one hymn-DooK, two 
a lead pencil. 

If I had more Relief Money I should purchase moremedal?. 



T* 



^he Manag ment of t e Sdionungsba'acke 
vrish to thank the many donors for 
their kind gifts all of which have been 
greally appreciaied bv the patients. The 
managemeni would like to rece 'refurther 
support and would remind their fellow- 
prisoners that every gift in the shape 
of food-stuffs, however small, is welcome 



iiiiiiüimimümiiiiiiiiimiiiiiiüiniiiHiiimiiimiiiraiiiiBinmiii!! 

P. BLAKE 

HAIRDRES5ER 

UimiüllMüllllllllilllillllimillllllllllllUlllUIHHIUHHUIBIIIIIllllO 



THE 




IS SURE QUICK and CHEAP! 

Letter boxes all over the Camp: 
Cleared eight times daily. 



13 



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The. best 

NEWS FRom HOHE 

IVANTED AT THE OFFICE! 

JOHNSON was out when the Lobster put his beaming face 
into the box to look for him, but Briggs was in. 

"The Rittmeister wants to speak to Johnson at 3 p. m." 
said the Lobster. 

''What about?" 

"Something to do with an unsigned letter" and the Lobster 
put the little slip of paper on the table and was gone. Presently 
Fegus came in, and seeing the little slip, he picked it up to 
look at it. 

"What 's all this about?" he asked. 

"I don't know" said Briggs, "there's an unsigned lettsr 
or something waiting for Johnson." 

Going out together a few minutes later they met Spaty 
in the corridor. 

"I say" called out Fegus as they passed, "lf you see 
Johnson, you might teil him that hs is to go over and sea 
the Rittmeister at three. There is an unsigned letter or document 
or something over there for him." 

Spaty, who had learned most of his English in th^ Camp, 
had hardly got into the box when the joyous Waterbury rushed in. 

"Holloah ! Spaty, old boy" he shouted, "Im going to get 
out, I believe. Have you heard the latest rumour ? Everyone 



15 



who can play the piano or wash handkerchiefs is to be let 
out in a week at most." 

"I don't believe him" said Spaty, "Johnson, he only get out, 
maybe. Paper waits on Johnson in the office to sign at three." 

"Go on. Is that a fact? Hell get out sure. I must go 
and find him", and the enthusiast rushed off again. Half way 
across the yard he remembered that he needed some sugar. 
Waiting in the queue, he espied Inters in the distance. 

"I say Inters" he shouted, "Johnson has a signed dcca- 
ment or release or something waiting f or him at the office. 
He's to go for it at three. You might teil him if you see him." 

"Right, I will" replied Inters, continuing his interrupted walk 
and conversation. By the boiler-house Inters ran into Johnson himself. 

"Oh ! there you are. The whole Camp is looking for you. 
There's a signed release or something in the office for you, 
and you're to be there at three." } 

"It must be my release" said Johnson, "I've done nothing, 
said nothing, written nothing." 

And the glad tidings went round the Camp that Johnson 
was getting out. The sparrows whispered it, the canteen girls 
(they had not yet left) laughed it, the policemen growled it, only 
the captains — did not believe it. 

But Johnson went back to his box, and gathered his things 
together and crawled under the bed looking for lost ties and 
cleaned the mildew off his boots. And when all things ne- 
cessary had been accomplished, and Johnson's baggage was 
packed up and the hour of three had come, Johnson went to 
the Rittmeister, who pointed out to him that he had forgotten 
the necessary details on an outgoing letter; and Johnson went 
back to his box and hanged himself — which is really the 
best thmg he could have done. He was always such a beastly bore. 

T. GOVETTE. 




'lobster* 



16 



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will present on 

AUGUST 4th 
and subsequent nights 

"THE SILVER BOX 



JJ 



by 



JOHN GALSWORTHY. 



This is a play of human interest and will 
appeal to everyone in the Camp. 



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17 



THE COUNT OF LUXEM BOURG. 



ßN ßCCOUNT, 



SICK with ths world, and "sch'echt 
[gelaunt" 
(Which in our tongue is paramount 

To "narked"). I went to see the 

[Count 

de Luxe. 



'"Tis here" cried I 'TU ' sink my 

[woes 

In merry song and subtle "mots", 

A playful glance or two fiom those 

Whose looks 



With hearts both young and old 

[coquette 

And bind with Amor's links the set 

Which circulates within "Debrett" 

viz — Dukes. 



And there I saw Herr Brisard — 
Has got a little vis-a-vis 
Named Juliette, and for him she 
Just cooks. 



— O Juliette, O virgin chaste, 
Take my advice and get thy waist 
Of Empire cut more tightly braced 
With hooks. — 



The Count arrived, a motley crew 

Of Masks and dresses entered 

[too. 

The Count's own special lady — — 

[Phew! 
Some looks! 







"'S WAR KOLLOSSAL' 



To Basil raise the cup! All hail! 
"'S war kolossal!" Expressions fail 
Justly to eulogise Angele. 
Gad — zooks! 

The Countess K., a prim old maid, 

Was five and sixty in the shade 

And Peebles-Conn's orchestra played 

Like books. 

F. C R. 




18 



PHOEBE'S FIRST BJiY IN CAMP. 

Phoebe, my new briar ipipe, slim, light, elegant, unadorned 
but for one ring of silver, had just arrived, I enquired anxiously 
about her journey. 

"Lovely" she said "exoept for the last lap. While we 
were in the cab, (I presume she meant the yellow parcel-post 
van) we were shaken about terribly, and finally we had to be 
taken out and passed along from hand to hand. Nearly all 
of us were dropped on the way. A tin of biscuits in the nsxt 
parcel to mine, that is — yours". 

"Ours, Phoebe" I whispered tenderly. 

"Had her head broken open. It was horrible." 

"Our boys do their best" I explained in extenuation, "but 
they do not seem to be able to catch very well. But go on." 

"After that I had a day's rest. Then suddenly I was 
seized, and someone in uniform tried to take all my things 
off me.' 

"It was only the military censor looking if you had any 
newspapers hidden away on your 'p erson •" 

She blushed and changed the subject, "I hope you did 
not have to wait long for me?" 

"Only two hours." 

"Two whole hours. Suppose it had rained?" 

"Why then I should have got wet, of course. But as 
to the time, two hours is not such a very long wait — for 
Ruhleben. We spend most of the day waiting about for th'ngs. 
When we first came, the Captains, you must know, called a 
meeting to decide how they could best prevent time from hanging 
too slowly on our hands. One of 
them had a brillant idea — it's a 
fact. He pointed out that the 
longer we had to wait for definite 
tarticles such as butter, boot-polish, 
etc. the less time we should have 
over to wait for indefinite things 
such as release etc. and moved 
that every institution, störe, canteen, 
or other undertaking Coming within 
the authority of this body, be 
provided with inadequate personn sl, 
in order that those desiring to make 
use of said institution, störe, canteen 
or other undertaking may be kept 
waiting for the maximum period of 
time possible, without unduly an- 
noying or exciting them. Such 




19 







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20 



Bank Holiday Attraction 

RUHELEBEN LYCEUM 

One Night Only. 

ALL STAR CASTE. 

Mr. Soaker has the honour to present the 
TOPICAL REVUE 

KEEP SMYLLIE 

(Which has made even the Skotch Engineers laugh) 

CASTE: The L. G. A. .... Mr. Cap 

The Silent Monk • • • Mr. Preachart 

A Voice Mr. P. Nuts 

Distressed Beautu . B. Z. am Mittag 

Captain of a Windjammer Mr. Pyh.e 

Edwin Oldit Mr. Blewma\ 

Fatimah Mr. Dad 

Spirit of Innocence . . . The Russian Lady 

Two Sighs and a Sob . . Mr. Dun^e N. Gnomes. 

The Country Dance „Rise Sally Waters''' arranged by Mr. Peas. 
Circumstances permitting Messrs Pike and Fork will per form a Double Shuffle. 

MR. ADDLED'S ORCHESTRA (No Peebles Connection) 




BODd St., W. 

Gentlemen: 

We guarantee that all garments made by us are 
cut and made by the most experienced and practical 
ENGLISH CUTTERS, who up to internment were em- 
ployed by the most eminent tailoring firms. FIT, STYLE 
& WORKMANSHIP our recommendation. 

Alterations and repairs at our branch between 
Barracks No. 3 and 4. 

Prices under the supervision of the Canteen's 
Committee. 

We are, gentlemen 

Yours obediently 

Amalgamated Cutters 

Ruhleben. 



21 



maximum in no case to exceed three hours. The motion, Phoebe dear, 
was carried unanimously. By the way that is where we buy tobacco." 

"What! the place that looks like an overgrown rabbithutch?" 

"Yes, I have waited a whole hour there for a Single ounce 
of tobacco.'' 

"Do you often have to wait as long as that for tobacco ?" 

"No, as a rule there is none to wait for, but there was 
an extra long queue that day. We always wait in queues here," 
I said proudly. 

"Well, there is one man trying to buy out of his turn at any rate." 

"Hush ! Tthat's a policeman. We have a police-f orce here.'' 

"Well, what is that policeman doing?" 

"He's only putting his head in to have a chat with the 
salesman; he does that every two or three minutes, I've often 
watched him. 

"But has he no off icial duty ?" 
I "Yes. He sells matches in fine weather and I believe 
he has the last decision as to vAo is to be given change." 

"But won't they give everybody change?" 

"Of oourse not. Really, Phoebe, how ridiculous you are. 
Why should they give change to perf ect strangers ?" 

"What a funny lot of people they seem to bs here. And 
what do they seil in the next hutch ?" 

"Dry goods. You will notice an interesting list up there 
over the — er — entranoe. There are really two lists, though 
they have got rather muddled up. First there is a list of things 
the Camp wants to buy and cannot, and then there is a list 
of things the Camp does not want to buy, but can. The things 
the Camp wants to buy have the word 'out' opposite them, 
while the things they do not want to buy have prices opposite. 

"But why don't they stock the things that are wanted?" 

"What funny questions you do ask, Phoebe. Why should 
they? It would only mean a lot more work for everyboJy. 
Surely it is much more simple to get in a lot of things nobody 
wants, and then sit down among them and smoke cigarettes. ' 

"But in that case what is the use of the place?" 

"You must ask the Captains that." 

"Who are these wonderful captains, you are always talking about?" 

"They are the men you see about with withe bands on their arm," 

"Yes, but what do they do?" 

I did my best to explain exactly what the Captains do. 
I even showed her Powells name on the hot-water coupons. 
And yet when I thought I had really impressed her, she inter- 
rupted me with a quite irrelevant question. 

"I don't believe you like the Captains, do you?" 

GOVETTE. 



22 



Bank Holiday Attractions 

ARTS & SCIENCE SOCIETY on the Third Grand 
Stand at 7 a.m MR. STARBOARD HARRY 
will deliver the A. S. S. populär Weekly Lecture 

NUSIC AND THE CALCULUS 

Sinopsis 

a) The Mathematical Basis of the Music of the Future 

b) The Second differential of the National Anthem 

c) Should the Tone scale be based on the Egmangnear or Loga- 
rithmic Spiral 

d) How to play on the first positive pedal of a parabola 

e) The "limiting value" and "equation to the curve" in the music 

of Xzzlos, Drdrysnts, Stritzmaggiwürfel and others of the Be- 
quadractic Music 

f) Elimination of the Tune as shown in the Modernist School, Addla, 
Kossut, D'Ail, Boky, Movarren. 

TH1S LECTURE WILL BE ILLUSTRATED BY SELE6TI0NS FROM 
THE MASTERS' WORKS ON THE SLIDE RULE, PATENT INTE- 
GRATOR AND PANTOGRAPH. 

Bring your oivn smelling'salts. 



BY the way, welcome to 
Ihe R. X. D. and it will 
be doubly welcome! ii iwe 
are allowed to book our 
seats for the various 
shows by this means. The 
money could be enclo- 
sed and the ticket sent 
back in the addressed 
"reply" supplied by the 
post. Extra cost: 1. one 
halfpenny for envelope 
enclosing money and 
a reply envelope". 2. one 
halfpenny for "reply en- 
velope" in which ticket 
would be sent — total 
cost one penny — and 
no lining-up. Why not? 
First come, first served 
just as in the queue. 
Now, Mr. Tapp, be a 
sport ! 




23 




WE throw a bouquet of golden buttercups at Crossland 
Briggs Esq. M. A. for the excellent copj he provided us with. 



WE throw a big, big bouquet at the Entertainments Com- 
mittee for lowering their prices. 



WE throw a bouquet at the Barrack No. 6 members of 
the Debating Society for preventing a "Fagin" .scene being in- 
cluded in the programme pf the Dickens' Evening. We like 
to see the little 'uns sticking up for themsel'ves. 



THE COUNT OF LUXEMBURG. 

DER Fidele Bauer gave us surprising proof of the lengths 
to which the Camp could gg in jmusical comedy and we consequently 
awaited tlie Gfraf von Luxemburg with very pleasant antici- 
pation. Unfortunately we have to recognise that this time the 
exigencies of the Camp proved too strong for us. The acting 
of Short was the outstanding feature and ,we have certainly 
no other artist in the Camp who can make the house po-ck 
as he does. The other imen were also excellent, notably Austin 
in the title röle. The ladies, however, |did not sustain the Depu- 
tation which has been so justly acoorded to our Ruhleben actresises. 
Their acting was quite good but their Voices were a terrible 
traversity. We are sorry that the show 'was not more worthy 
of our distinguished visitors. Never mind, better luck next time, 
Mr. Grib ! 

THE POETRY EVENING. 

THE evening of Modern English Poetry was a fitting com- 
mencement to an interesting fortnight. So far as it went, it 
was a success but we were inclined to feel that we were 
being given "poetry in slabs". Centuries ago crowds may have 
gathered to hear poetry recited but to ask a modern audience 
to fill a hall' to hear modern poetry elocuted was, to say the 
least, a daring experimient. To-day we don't gather in crowds 
to hear poetry, we regard it rather ,as a thing for the quiet 
odd hour and to read poetry to another man implies the very 
dosest intim'ac'y, or eise prigishness. Of course we of to-day 
may be wrong but it is how we take it. 



THE Debating Society has again scored; the Dickens evenings 
were an undoubted success. We are sorry that we have not 
space at our disposal to eulogise individualTy, but you see this 
is a Bank holiday number and we promised no reports. 



24 



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25 



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Q>ebaiing HB Socieiy 



(See No. 3.) 
Dear Inkstains : 

There was great excitement over last week's debate when 
the Committee decided to put up a topical subject as a change 
from the old stagers that have graced, or disgraced, Debating 
Society syllabuses since the Reform Bill came in. Unfortunately 
our worthy committee-men are rather like a lot of parsons' 
sons who, when given an opportunity to have a mild fling, 
rather overdo the thing. The subject they pitched on was "War 
Babies — Should they be Legitimised ?" 

Now despite the fact that only a part of the Camp spsaks 
English we are strictly English with regard to our institutions and 
we found, that although we had for nine months de3med this lager 
of ours to be a strictly celibatq one, that good old matron, Mrs. 
Grandy had somehow sneaked in among us. I believe the people who 
objected to the subject being discussed were very few in number 
but here as at home, noisy and obnoxious minoritie3 generaHy 
manage to sit on the public in general and the Educatioa 
Committee, an offspring of the Captains' Office, allowed itself 
to be bullied into vetoeing the debate. 

The vetoe however was not made public and the evening 
found a packed hall all agog to hear the discussion on 
Britain's latest hopefuls. Owing to the state of day- 
dream the promenade oonoert had put me into — a dream 
of torturing the musicians for the way they tortured 
Sullivan — I missed the beginning of the debate but I gather 
that the meeting decided that the Committee were getting 
quite big boys now and might be left to exercise their own dis- 
cretion as to subjects without interference by the Captains' 
Office or any of its excresences. 

To fill the programme it was decided to hold an impromptu 
debate. Subjects and Speakers were put into the hat and drawn at 
random. By this means a debate which might have been held in the hall 
immortalised m "All sorts and conditions of men" was forthcoming. 

Sherloek Holmes spoke for the abolition of the public house 
but gave one the impression that he was rather a man of action 
than of words. "The Abolition of Cats" was I think the most 
fatuons and stalest of the discussions. Now if they had only speit 
it "Katz" it might have been quite interesting. 

Finally the propostiion "That Vulgarity is not Essential to 
the Success of the Camp Magazine". I forget the name of the 



26 



man who proposed it but he made a rotten job of it. I wish 
they would have let me get on to the platform. 

To reply lo and behold, whose name should be drawn but that 
of our Camp Editorchen. Trust him to wangle things. I think he 
might give even the super- men a hint or two regarding self-adver- 
tisement. He did cut a quaint figure standing up there I can 
teil you. He tnes to look Bohemian, but only succeeds in 
looking extraordinary and lately he's taken to wearing his hair 
like a young porcupine. The idea of this latter idiosyncracy 
is, I imagine, that if he wore his hair long he might be taken 
for a superman while if he were to wear it short and brushed 
he might be included amongst sub-men. Of course, he hadn't any- 
thing to say but bluffed the meeting with a story that I should 
guess appeared in the Winning Post Annual of a year or two 
back and retired to stand blushing modestly at the back of 
the platform while Butterskotch threw bouquets at his rag — 
which was rather sporting of the old boy considering the way 
he was tweaked in No. 3. 

A cheer for the magazine was called for and given and His 
Nibs informed the crowd that the Debating Society' s advertisement 
in No. 4 would not be entered on their account. I only hope 
the Camp auditor insists on seeing the cash for that half-page 
and he has to stump up for his own bounce. 

At all events, the crowd enjoyed ltself. And so to b:d. 
Yours faithfully THE MAD HATTER (No. 2). 

f 



When writing home for coffee. be sure you Order 



"FAZENDA 

PURE COFFEE 



VI 



Importe! roasted and packed by State of San 
Paulo (Brazil) Pure Coffee Co. Ltd. London. Bears 
Government Seal — Guaranteed freshly-roasted 

and ground. 

Specially packed in air-tight tins to preserve 

freshness and aroma of the Coffee. 

It is cheaper than tea. 



ee>>^£>>*6>^e>^e>*^E>^G>^o»^©>*6>^G>»^©"*<<3"^ 



27 



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28 

^'•ini'"«! hiii> , %iii , Mi,,in%,ii«ii,,|i"iM «"«ihji"! 

i SOIREES DE DEBÜT j 

| DE LA f 

l SOCIETE IMMTIQVE FRANCHISE c 

j DE RUHLEBEN j 

{ 13 et 14 Aout } 

j= DDDDOO =_ 

| ON OPERE SANS DOULEUR f 

§ Comedie en un acte d' Andre Mouezy - Eon \ 

| L'ANGLAIS TEL QU'ON LE PARLE J 

i Comedie en un acte de Cristan Bernard \ 

= DDODOÜ % 

C MiSES EN SCENE PAR H. G. HOPKIRK J 



De la MUSIQUE FRANCAISE sera jouee 

pendant les intervalles par l'orchestre, sous 

la direction de Mr. MacMillan. 

(These two screamingly funny French 
plays are typical of French humour and 
will be easily understood by those even 
less versed in the French language). 



f A L'ETUDE: C 

> LA PETITE CHOCOLATIERE J 

I MON BEBE - $ 

{ LA BELLE AVENTURE ) 

% uii"iin ii in i iii"iiiiii' i iii iii i'"iiii ii 'iinii" ■»■■■■•ihi il 



29 




30 



THE PRIVATE SECRETARY. 

Mr. Hersee is to be congratulated on his excellent pro- 
duction of such a well-chosen play. There were no accidents — 
no unintended humour, no loud promptings — and the stage 
furniture behaved itself, being seen but not heard. The smooth 
running of the piece, coupled with the fact that Mr. Hersee 
• had only fourteen days' notice, implies energetic and capable 
stage-managing. 

Mr. Pearce as the Private Secretary gave us a beauti- 

fully consistent piece of work, striking a clear note at the 

start and holding it until the curtain had dropped; at times 

his helpless acquiescence in the bewildering maze of 

misunderstanding he had got entangled in was almost uncanny. 

There may have been funnier private secretaries ; there cannot 

have been a quainter. 

As the short-tempered 

but good-hearted unc!e 

troubled with a liver, Mr. 

Merritt su'rpassed himself. 

There isn't a character an 

English audhnce loves 

better than the irate country 

gentleman and Mr. Merritt 

gave it us just as we like 

it. We hope to see him 

again in a similar role. 

Mr. Woodthorpe as the 

aspiring tailor, was, as 

always, convincing He does 

not act, he is the part. In 

this case it might almost 

be said that he was too 

good, for what we sa\v 

was a iinished character 

study where a little more 

burlesque would have 

added to the general effect. 

The remaining characte:s 

played with more or less 

success up 1 to the Standard 

set them by the principals, 

giving us a very enter- 

taining evening with plenty 

of good laughs. 

H. M. 




^^^^^y^- 



CHAIR PLEASE! 



31 




HEROIK' 

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ffa-^*** 



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AUX AMIS DE MUSSET 

lV/f ADAME Chavigny modele des epouses, 

Vous etes le bourreau des amants, des jalouses 
Et vous nous 1 avez dit, si bien si clairement, 
Que nous vous en faisons nos meilleurs compliments. 

Madame de Lery troublante ingenue, 

Pourquoi nous rappeler l'amante disparue? 

Ce sourire ces yeux et ce gazouillement, 

Ah! que c'est bien francais! Avez-vous un amant? 

Bon Monsieur Chavigny, quoi donc un caprice? 
C'est sentier fleuri bordant un preeipice; 
Votre coeur l'a senti: felicitations, 
Mais evitez du "bleu" toutes tentations, 

Cher Monsieur Bonhote a la voix si plaintive, 
Pourquoi la "Vision" fut eile fugitive? 
"Jean aime sa Jeanne, Jeanne son joli Jean" 
Mais vous, vous nous plaisez; revenez-nous souvent- 

San Souci. 



32 




S. D. F. R. 

(Societe Dramatique Francaise de Ruhleben). 

M OUS apprenons qu'une societe vient d'etre f ormee, dans le 
^^ but de produire sur notre scene, dejä si internationale, des 
pieces theatrales francaises (comedies, vaudevilles, etc.). 

Le Comite est compose comme suit : 

President : C. F. Drummond, 

Tresorier: A. W. Cooper, 

Secretaire : H. Alf. Bell, 

Comite : W. E. d' Albert, H. Goodhind, A. Ricliardson, 
J. H. Thoipe et C. F. Winzer. 

II paraitrait que cette societe n'est composee que de mem- 
bres, ayant une connaissance parfaite de la langue francaise, 
ce qui nous promet des soirees fort agreables. La soiree de 
"debuts" aura lieu 13 — 14 Aoüt et deux pieces typiqaes de la 
gaite francaise seront produites : "L'Anglais tel qu'on le parle", 
de Cristan Bernard et "On opere sans douleur", de Meuezy- 
Eon. Nous souhaitons bonne chance aux organisateurs de ce 
nouvel element dans notre camp. 



THE 



R.X.D. 



IS SURE QUICK and CHEAP! 

Letter boxes all over the Camp : 
Cleared eight times daily. 



33 



WISHES - THE NEW GAME. 

IT was Tuesday afternoon in the office. Wie, hadi just had 
ooffee, a treat we allow ourselves on Press Day as we get 
no lunch, and all was peace — only that perfect peace which 
engulfs an editorial office when the rag has been finally handed 
(over to the printer and the scribbling peaple can setile down 
with a feeling "Well that's over — for better or worse". 
It is a state of mind which can only be compared to that of 
ja bridegroom comming out of church, for like him, even the 
most hackneyed of scribes feels a little thrill and is quite 
sure the "for worse" may be left out of the question. 

"Well" said Molly, — he's the .tarne artist — enquiringly, 
meaning what was the programme for the rest of the afternoon. 
"Let's play 'Wishes'," said Spoof (he's the advertising manager). 
We were all feeling comfy 
and pleased with oursslves 
so we only looked. "It's 
really great fun", he ex- 
plained in reply to the 
torrent of unspoken abuse, 
"you take a piece of paper 
and a pencil and then you 
write down a wish." "And 
then?" we all chorused, 
"And then you read out 
the wishes". We all looked 
again. "Of course", h? 
added hurriedly, "with the 
ordinary crowd it wouldn't 
go but with US (He 
spoke the "us" in large 
caps) "it ought to yield 
great fun and ideas" (He 
always says "ideas" in this 
sort of holy of holies 
whisper). 

After that what could we 
do ! There was just a little 
difficulty with the Chief 
who wanted to dictate his 
wish. "Only SUBeditors 
wrote" he declared but we 
assureed him that we had 
ourselves seen Captain 
Powell writing while his 




Öurjß6) 

in ike J\'JZ/i 
Jret forma nee 



34 




stenographer stood by idle and he allowed 
himself to be stroked down. 

"Well now are you all ready ?" asked 
Spoof. 

"Wait a bit" interjec'ced the C'iief. 
"Don't you think it would add to the 
phsycological interest of the game if we 
were for th.is time to wnte what we do 
at the moment actually want." He has 
taken to talking ponderously like this 
since he had a place on the Education 
Committee. 

"If we wr. t te dashes, will they be 

understood?" asked Molly. It tcok 

M! another five minutes to convince Molly 



*/U*e£o$rMP.(?) that he had not made a joke which was 

rendered the harder by the sniggering of 
Hurdy-Gurdy — he's the man who turns the Roneo handle 
all day, hence his name. At last we were all ready and Spoof 
cned "Go !". We went, at least we wrote, and ten seconds later 
Spoof cried "Time". 

"Now just to add to the phsycological interest of the 
game" broke out the Chief, "Let 
us each just guess what the other 
has written." We suffered him and 
Spoof voted that we begin with the 
Chief. "No, let's begin with Molly" 
he protested. "No, that is not fair 
it was Spoof s idea, let us begin 
with him" said Molly. 

Everyone was so shy about 
reading his production, eitherbeing 
ashamed of it or conscious of having 
something that would make the 
others sit up, that the game might 
have come to an absurd end had 
not Hurdy-Gurdy shouted "Well 
look here to settle the matter I will 
turn round three times with my 
eyes closed and the one I po.nt at 
will have to begin and it goes from 
left to right." 

He turned round but ono and 
that once was suff icient to transf orm 
our Deäceful sanctum into one 
brawling chaos — our editorial 




another o\ us 



35 




BANK-HOLIDAY, RUHLEBEN, 1915. 



office is not what one would exactly term spacious and Hurdy- 
Gurdy weighs eleven stone and wears Camp clogs. For- 
tunately Taffy — 'lies the offioe boy , — was out, or rather, 
unfortunately and for the next ten minutes the atmosphere was 
a deep, rieh blau. (The Camp School gives free German 
lessons ; apply, Secretary. — Advt.) 

"Now, look here", said the Chief at length, "we're going 
to begin with Molly". "All right", said that worthy, "guess 
away". The Chief gave him one piercing, penetrating glance 
and then in a tone pungent with regret, declared "Molly, your 
wish is — here a pause for a sigh -*- dashes". Righteous 
indignation is Molly' s strong point and Hurdy-Gurdy had to 
point out that if this went on, we should never get the game 
finished. 

It was Spoof's turn to guess : "To be recognised by the 
Futurists." The Chief and Hurdy-Gurdy launched themselves 
with one acoord on to Molly's head and sat there tili he boiled 
o-ver. Then it was Hurdy-Gurdy's turn : "To have your pictures 
recognised for what they are worth". The others sniggered 
joyfully and Molly face bore a quaint expression. Hurdy-Gurdy 
tries to be a diplomat but he has an unf ortunate way of putting 
things. 

Then it was the Chiefs turn to be guessed at and Molly's 



36 



to guess. "Molly cocked an eye "Tb be recognised as a Super- 
man" was his venture. Molly will get sacked if he's not 
careful. "To write a good Leader" was Spoof s contribution. 
This again was risky and we others waited rather uncomfortably 
for Hurdy-Gurdy. "To write a good novel" said he and we 
breathed freely oncs more. 

The Chiefs face lighted up as he turned to Spoof "To 
produce a magazine with no regard whatever to its Editorial 
merits, and with an advertisement on every page" he spat out. 
"To get Powell and all the Captains into procession to carry 
"I.R.C." sandwich boards round the camp", was Molly's guess. 
Spoof 's eyes lit up "Didn't I say we'd get ideas" he asked 
triumphantly. "To be advertising manager to Beechman's Pills" 
was Hurdy-Gurdy' s effort. 

The Hurdy-Gurdy suggestions were not very bright. They 
were "To have a Treadle Printing Machine", "To make a 
law, in the Camp that every man visiting the Theatre should 
buy a Programme" and "To see Powell turning a Roneo handle 
for six hours a day". 

"Now let's see how near the mark we got" said the Chief. 

How far from lt you mean" retorted Molly as he took up 

his slip with a defiant air and read "To have a Casino.pass". 

The others all gave a start. 

Then Shoof: "Well mine's — "To have a 

Casino pass." 

Hurdy-Gurdy looked pleased : "Dear me, 
how funny mine is" — . 

"To have Casino pass" we all shouted. 

The Chief had on a sheepish grin: ,Well 

if you want to know, so s mine" he said. 

Just then Taffy — he's the office- 

boy you remember — returned. "Now 

Taffy" said the Chief benignly — 

Taffy is the only one that will stand 

an "editorial" manner 

from 



him so he rather 
puts on the poor lad — 
Supposing we were to ask 
you to write a wish on 
a slip of paper, what 
would you write?" . 

"To be Released". 
answered Taffv promptly. 
"Why, we never thought 
of that!" we chorused. 




JAeCdmpWetßurje. 



SPINTHO. 



37 




38 



HINTS 
TO CAMPITES. 

D 

I. On Digestion. 

A Henry Leighian 
^^ Music "Lekker" 

Ist best attended 

After "Brekker" 

And P. R. Ichard 

(Ever thinner) 

Is rather boring 

Prior to dinner 

While Cecil Duncan 

And his upper 

Ten are hopeless 

Until supper 

If for a course of 

Pease you're booked 

Take special care the 
Peas are cooked. 

HA -HA. 




n 



J{ r fhe6Ics Conns ÖrcAesira plays 

'Jl Ji-ttle yrey 'ötvm in -the msC 



PUBL1SHERS NOTICES: 

"ALL IS NOT GOLD THAT GLITTERS." An Autobiography by 
Across-Landbriggs. MacMillan. 10 6. 

THE ELECTRO-CHEMIST AT HOME 

THE ELECTRO-CHEMIST ON THE 

STAGE 
THE ELECTRO-CHEMIST IN THE 

PULPIT 
THE ELECTRO-CHEMIST IN CAMP 



by Hatfield. Being Vols. 
23-26 of the "Chemist 
Everywhere" Series. 



NEW GRAMM AR OF THE FRENCH TOXGUE by R. Mand 
von Schlettstaat. Taugnichts M. 1,20- 



39 

Keffers io tße Gdiior 




ALL letters to the editor must be accompanied by name and Barrac^e 
Number of sender, not necessarily for publication but as a guarantee 

of good faith. 

Sir: — 

Owing to the disappointment cause d in the Camp by the 
existing rules of the newly formed Tennis Club I should like 
tjhrough the medium of your columns to put forward a Suggestion, 
which, if adopted would allow of the poorer members of the 
Camp being given an opportunity of indulging in an occasional 
game of Tennis. As readers are aware, the subscription is 
20 Marks on top of which one must purchase a racquet, balls 
and shoes, a total at the very least of 50 Marks. 

It is very certain there are a large number of keen tennis 
players in our midst who, through circumstances over which 
they have no control, have been obliged to take advantag3 of 
the benefit offered by the Relief Fund, thus makin^ it quite 
impossible for them to become a member. With all due respect 
to the gentlemen who are responsible for the framing of these 
rules, I think it a great pity they could not have found time 
to give a thought to their poorer countrymen and not merely 
have considered those of independant means. 

May I suggest that the Committee allow two courts to 
be set aside for non-members — making a charge of 50 Pf. 
per hour. Assuming only 75% of games played were foursomzs, 
it should produce about 150 Marks per week. This would well 
pay its way and leave a handsome balance for the Club or 
Camp fund ; it would create a better feeling in the Camp and 
give the desired satisfaction to those wishing for an occasional game. 

Yours in the interest of the Camp 

A TENNIS PLAYER. 

ALL THE WORLD'S a stage and every one on it thinks he 
can act. From the Ruhleben, Shakespeare. 



BY THE WAY, The Promenade Concert programmes don't 
work when you hold them up to the light. 

THE H 1/ n 'S SURE QUICK and CHEAP! 

Letter boxes all over the Camp : 
Cleared eight times daily. 




40 



Dear Mr. Editor: — 

Might I suggest that instead of devoting whole pages to 

"globe-trotters" of medium interest, it would be more interesting 

to let us "ordinary" members of the Camp, know something 

of how and who so ably manages the Parcels Post Dept. 

They get through a tremendous work and are too little spoken 

of. Also if you could reproduce figures of parcels given out 

since November, it would be an interesting memento for the 

future. An A-to-Ker. 

(Certainly Sir anything to oblige the Camp! See Page 3 — Ed.) 



Dear Sir: Ruhleben, 17th July. 

With reference to T. A. B's article on Cheaper Enter- 
tainments I should like to say fhat f am entirely in favour 
of a general reduction in the prices charged for admission to 
the various shows. We do not want the prices reduced on the 
evenings of the two final Performances, as someone has suggested, 
but a cheaper admission to ALL shows. 

The idea of the Performances is to entertain, and the 
amassing of profits is not only unnecessary, but presents the 
difficulty as to how same shall be distributed. 

Yours truly, 

"SKETCHER". 




Unwerstiy. 




41 



Dear Ed. ! 

No doubt you are aware that a new 
rehearsal shanty has sprung up behmd 
Barrack 7. Of course there' s a piano 
which is kept "at it" all day, producing 
the most agonising sounds. I do not 
venture to say who suffers most, the 
player or the piano. What have we 
done to deserve all this ? Kindly look 
into the matter. 

Yours, 
A PATIENT SUFFERER. 



TO the Editor of "In Ruhleben Camp" 

Dear Sir : 

Up to the present the Debat.ing 

Society has exercised due care and. 

tact in its choice of subjects for debate. 
At last, however, they seem to me to have overstepped the mark m 
choosing such a subject as was advertised for debate on the 
13th inst. Everybody knows what that subject was, so there 
is no need to repeat it here — for was it not acknowledged 
at that debate that your paper had no need of vulganty to ensure 
its success ? Surely the committee have 
become inebriated by the exuberance 
of their own verbosity to so dr^am 
of washing their country's dirty lin2n 
in such a place and at such a time. 
At the debate on the 13th there 
attended a füll house who had evidently 
gone to the meeting in the expectation 
of heanng something spicy and when 
the Chairman put to the vote, apropos 
of this subject, the question whether 
the committee was capable of choosing 
its subjects for debate without inter- 
ference from the Capta.ins. then ci 
course there was an overwhelming ma- 
jority for the affirmative. But let the 
Committee go ab out the Camp and they 
will find a dif f erent opinion (I hold 
no brief for Caplains). Methinks they 
may safely leave questions of that 
sort to a certam weekly periodical 
we wot of, which specialises in such 
scandals. 




P. M. SHAW. 



Sptfrundy 



m 



tAr(p6 



emp : 



42 



OUR GEOGRAPHICAL POSITION. 



\ T School: 

We're forced by masters 

[doubly rüde 

To geographically grind 

In all degrees of Longitude 

And scrape within our gaping 

[mind, 

The parallels of Latitude; 





(9-u-r-Stöye Hero ; 



And here: 

We learn to sprawl all demi — 

[nude 
As savours of our kind, 
In all degrees of Loungi — tude, 

Whilst nowhere eise on earth we 

[find 

Our parallels in Lassitude. 

Boj. 



Jf/ss/faad UJlan s tAe Venus c/i Afed/ct were 
TQSpectäble younq women compfirod -to some 
ojike men -in 4hjs dmp / 



43 



ANSWERS TO CORRESPONDENTS. 

"HOW TO CATCH THEM" (In 
answer to UN EASY" Bar. 7). Having 
first decided that the spots on your ehest are 
caused by neither measles nor Indigestion, de- 
vote your attention immediately to your pallias. 
Get a friend to carry it to some secluded spot. 
Approach quietly, whistling softly a soothing 
tune;this will cause "them'tocluster together, 
raise their little heads and hold their breath in 
wonder and rapt attention. Seize the oppor- 
tunity and a tin of Keatings and spnnkle the 
powder rapidly over them. They will disperse suddenly, rushing 
hither and thither, as though seeking to keep some pressing 
engagement. Pursue "them" and on catching up, hit "them" 
smartly between two sticks or stones, and kill at leisure. 

"Necessity the mother etc" (Bar. 5). If you will send 
us a sketch of the stools you have made out of hard 
ships' biseuits and pieces of wood we will gladly criticise them. 




V; 



"Sufferer" (Bar. 20). We sympathise with you and 
offer the following remedy against mosquitoes which is as 
effective as any we know. Buy about twelve dozen tins of 
Condensed milk from the Canteen Stores (don't forget to mentioii 
the name of this paper), open them and pour Contents into a 
clean bücket. Borrow a clothes 
brush from a chum and with it 
smear the milk liberally over the 
walls and ceiling of your box. 
Close the Window and take a seat 
m the middle of the floor f acing the 
open door. On observing one of 
these interesting andmusical insects 
enter, closely follow its movements 
andas it approachesthe sticky walls, 
give it a sharp push or lean heavily 
against it. It will probably adhere to 
the surface. Stun it and humanely 
kill it (see answer to "Uneasy"). 

Its carcase must be removed to 
the bins in front of the Barrack, 
care to be exercised in depositing it 
mto the correct one, as the placing 
of meat-stuffs into the paper bins 
is streng verboten. 




'^'J 



ddrrdck/fiexpresseJ in Ai?^<?e ?. 



44 
Hl 



THE RUHLEBEN 
SUPPLIES DELIVERY 

WILL COLLECT ORDERS for Canteen Supplies 
between the hours 

8 — 9 a. m. 
1 — 2. 30 p. m. 

and deliver morning Orders before mid-day 
and afternoon Orders before 5-30 p. m. 



Orders will be collected by a representative 

calling at the barracks between the above- 

mentioned hours, and delivered at your 

door in time for dinner and tea. 



NO MORE WAITING IN THE LINE FOR AN HOUR 

NO MORE LONG QUEUES IN THE GOLD & RAIN 

NO MORE BREAKING ENGAGEMENTS 

NO MORE WORRY, GIVE YOUR ORDER - 

PAY: AND WE DO THE REST. 



Our representative wears a red band. Look out for him. 
Commence Tuesday, August 3 rd - 

TARIFF: 5°/n to be charged extra for delivery. 

To facilitate matters, please pay cash with order. 
Deposit accounts opened. Please address enquiries 

RUHLEBEN SUPPLIES DELIVERY 

C/o Office of this paper. 



45 



r-Q 




FFIOAL 



OTICE^ 




After some negotiations 
with the Race Course Asso- 
ciation we have secured 
the use of a part of the 
outer track for tennis. 
Seven courts have already been made and more will be made 
in due course. Sufficient menibers have joined the new Tennis 
Club to enable the whole of the cost to be defrayed out ox 
the money raised by the subscriptions. 

Card-playing is now again permitted on the understanding 
that there is no playing for money. Everyone wishing to play 
must hand in his name to the Captain of his barrack. We hope 
that everyone in the Camp will assist us in carrying out the 
regulations. 

The new Boiler House is also completed with the ex- 
ception of some of the internal fittings. To those using 1 tickets the 
cost of hot water has been reduced f rom 5 to 2 Pfennigs per litre. 

The distribution of the sets of Summer Clothing has now 
been completed. A few are left over which will be handed 
out to some of those who omitted to enter their names on the 
first occasion. 

A new shop for the Camp Carpenters is being erected 
behind Barrack VIII, which will enable the carpenters to do 
their work without interruption and will no doubt also be welcome 
news to those who frequent the Grand Stand. 



ENDER'S SAFETY RAZORS 

First class American Manufacture. Each Razor and Blade bears the signature 
of the Maker, Mr. Enders, as a mark of superiority. 4 Marks each. 

"PFNTAI IR" TIN OPENER AND BOTTLE CAF LIFTER. Opens Round 
V^lliiN 1 /-\vJr\. Tins. Opens Square Tins. Removes Bottle-Caps. 

One Mark each. 



r pi_lT7 A \Y/T tT/^D ATT American Patent. Every man his owi saddler. 
1 nn, /A WL, rUI\ MLL. sews chain stitch. No DECEPTION. 

To be obtained at the 

EXCHANGE & MART, Barrack 5 B. 



46 




Preliminary Announcement. 

llllllllllllllllllilllllllllllllllllMllllllllillllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllillllllllltllllllllllllllllllllll 

On WEDNESDAY & THURSDAY, 

AUGUST 11 & 12 th 1915 

in GERMAN. 



"Doktor Klaus 



(t 



Comedy in five acts by Adolph L'Arronge. 

Produced by Josef Stein. 

New Scenery by Leopold Stein. 



Besides excellent amateur players, the following 

FIVE PROFESSIONAL ACTORS WILL 
PARTICIPATE: 

Alfred Volke, Nuremburg — in the role of DR. KLAUS 
Sven Holm, Berlin — „ „ „ „ GERSTEL 

Josef Stein, Berlin — „ ,„ „ „ LUBOWSKl 

Karl Dunbar, Chemnitz — „ „ „ „ GR1ES1NGER 
Jtlbert Short, Berlin — „ „ „ „ COLMAR 



* 



47 




Professional Hair-dresser 

Grand -Stand 

First-elass Pedicnre 



HOME ADDRESS!- 

BARRACK 6, BOX 7. 



BUSINESS HOURS: 

8 — 12.- a. m. 
2 — 5 p. m. 

SUNDAYS & THURSDAYS; 

8—11.30 only. 



48 



m 



ßooks, Music 
and War-Maps 

supplied at tlie shortest 
possible notice 

at NET SHOP PRIGES 

No extra Charge, not even 
for postage. 

SMALL STOCK IN HAND 

Apply between 2 p. m. and 

4 p. m, to 

F. L. Mussett 

Barrack 5, Box 22. 



s, 




Russian Tailor 

Grand stand no. 1. 

(Next door to Catholic 
Chapel) 

ALL WORK DONE 
PERSOXALLY. 

ESTIMATES FREE. 

Large 
Choice of Materials. 






HAUE VOUR TAILORine 

DONE AT KlICHEilEHS! 

Everything a Speciality! 
Prices Moderate. 

Between Barrack 2 and 3. 






The Ruhleben 




& 




Barrack 5 B. 

originated & conducted by 
MORTIMORE HOWARD. 



Do you want to buy\ 

anything? 
Have you anything 
superfluous, anything 

dyou dont Want, or any- 
thing you wish to seil? I 

Put it on the Exchange & Mart 
Register witbout delay. 

Our motto: KEEP MOVING. 



J. S. PREUSS, Printer by Appointment to the Royal Court, Berlin S., Dresdenerstr. 43 




THE RUHLEBEN 



□ODOOO 
DDDOOO 
OODOOO 

DDOODD 



TA1L0 



Dooaoa 

conaoü 
aoDQaa 



Grand Stand Hall. 



SUITS 

made to measure. 

Guaranteed best 
Englisl) material 



Alterations, Repairs & Pressups 
i/j at moderate prices. 




* , ■ — — «v •:• 

• • ••• 



v 



V 






The Shopping Centre 

Bond Street, Ruhleben. 



- • 



DEPARTMENTS: 

Tinned Foods, Fruit & Greengrocery 

Refreshment Bar 

Grocery and Provisions 

Dry Stores 

Outfitter 

Boots & Shoes 

Boot Reparer 

Tailor 

Watchmaker 

We beg to bring the announcement on page 44 regarding 
the officially appointed Supplies Delivery to the notice of our 
readers and earnestly request them to make liberal use of this 
convenience and so help to avoid long queues and long waits. 



PLEASE NOTE that the Tailoring Department 
is in the hands of experienced Cutters. 



.X..X-**^>.H.*.X«<-*****^^^^ 



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111 TUT IV PC DU Ä MY By T. A. Barton for the Education Committee of the 
MAUL Ifl ULnffl AH I Engländerlager ~ 



für Zivilgefangene, Ruhleben, Berlin 






■■ ■ ■ ■■j- ■ ■ PI 






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LS^ünb 






£&£ 



'MsB^R 



3W 



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» 9H IHK HhhHqezk 

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